I was talking to a friend of mine that’s a couple of years older than me when I was getting ready to turn the big 3-0 back in January. I remember describing my quarter-life crisis to her and feeling just so not ready to step into the next decade. She told me “my thirties have been great! Better than my twenties honestly.”
I thought she couldn’t be right. Your twenties are your prime! Your body hasn’t been ruined by babies yet. You don’t have hardly any obligations. No one expects a lot from you. And it’s still acceptable to sleep till 11 am on the weekends. How could your thirties be better!
But boy was she right. Now obviously I’m only 6 months into my new decade so I don’t that I am an expert on being “in my thirties” but I can tell you that as I’ve reflected on my twenties, it wasn’t actually all sleeping in and carefree living. It was a lot of struggle. And here’s what I learned.
Nobody Knows What Their Doing
Your twenties are for figuring out how to be an adult. I feel like no one explained this to me. I just thought everyone in their twenties had gone to college and figured it out by the time they graduated. Absolutely not the case. If you’re 25 and feel like you’ve failed because you don’t have it figured out, change your mindset right now because that’s what’s going to stop you from becoming you are meant to be. Start where you are. And just try stuff! A whole bunch of stuff! Knowing what you don’t like is just as valuable as finding something you do like! Just get out there and do something!
It’s Never Too Late To Change Your Mind
In some ways life is really short and in others its realllllyyyyyyyy long. If you’re in your twenties or thirties or shoot your fifties and you don’t like the life you’ve designed, get off the path. Never be to proud to hit the reset button. It’s absolutely never too late to make a change. You should be passionate about how you spend your life. It goes by so fast. Make sure you’re spending it in a way you love. Don’t sleepwalk through it.
YOU Design Your Life. No One Else.
Don’t let what other people think, do, or say keep you from living your truth. If you want to teach yoga in India, DO IT. You want to get married at 21 and have kids and live in the suburbs? DO IT. If you want to start your own company, DO IT. But take some time to REALLY think about what you want. Sit with your feelings. Absorb what makes you happy and sit with that. Why does it make you happy? Lean into that. There is something there. I promise.
Just Try Stuff
Be a vegan for 3 days. Take up yoga for a week. Go to a meetup. Take a new class. Make a new friend. Just try stuff. And keep learning. Learning about the world. Learning about yourself. The day you stop learning you die. Knowledge is power and the only way to keep getting more of it is learning and trying.
Stop Listening To “Those People”
You know who I’m talking about. When you think about posting something on Instagram or wearing something different or taking up a new hobby. But what will “they” think? For me, it was like 3 girls in high school that I never see and haven’t talked to in YEARS that had this power over me. It’s bizarre when you think about it. Borderline insane. But I’ve talked to enough people to know that everyone has “those people”. Stop living your life the way you think “those people” want you to and start living it for yourself. Remember, those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. Forget that noise. It won’t get you anywhere you want to go.
Nothing Lasts Forever
If it’s a good season, savor it. Hold on to it. If it’s a bad season just remember, “this too shall pass.” Or “if you’re going through hell, just keep on going.” We have all and will all go through many sweet and tough seasons in life. Whether it’s becoming a new mom, getting a new job, hating your boss, wishing you lived somewhere else. Everything is figureoutable. And
Having Boundaries Is Healthy
Just the phrase “set boundaries” sends off alarms in me like I’m standing up here naked in front of all of you. Exposed. I grew up in somewhat of a toxic family environment with lots of issues. Lots of love. But lots of issues. It took me a long long long time to learn how to set boundaries. How to prioritize myself and my own well being over everyone else’s. And not just with family. With friends. With work. Setting boundaries is something I’m new to but as a people pleaser, it’s been a very helpful tool.
So in this weird way, I feel like I just turned 30 this past month, not back in January. I feel like in the last 6 months I’ve grieved my twenties and become more excited about this new chapter instead of sad to close the last one. I’m thankful for all the lessons I learned in my twenties because without them I don’t think I would feel as free in my own skin as I do today.